Posts Tagged ‘Bankers’

Oh Britain, you’re all fags for the public school boys now

In Current affairs, Politics on October 21, 2010 at 11:18 pm

IN FRANCE they march on the streets, they cut fuel supplies to the airport, they stop trains from running. Why? Because they object to a vertically-challenged president telling them they will have to work until they are 62 instead of 60.

In Britain, the government tells the people that they are going to have to share the pain of £81 billion in public spending cuts after the excesses of the banks. And how do the Brits react? Do they take to the streets? Non. Do they mobilise and withdraw their labour in protest? Again, non.

Instead, a Yorkshire mother of three earnestly tells a television reporter that we are going to have to take the pain “until we can get the country back on track”. The Anglo-saxon willingness to self-flagellate is stupefying at times.

Just what exactly does this woman think she has done to deserve years of pain? Did she parcel up crappy mortgages and sell them on like fish past its use-by date? Er, no, she did not. I do believe the fault for that lies elsewhere. Why is the country on some sort of massive guilt trip?

This must be the ultimate political wet dream for the public school boys now running the country. The whole country has been very naughty and now must take its punishment. Bend over Britain – you’re all fags now.

Posh Dave and georgeous George Osborne will be rubbing their grubby little hands together with glee at the big chance now to dismantle the welfare state, and don’t think they’ll stop there, the NHS is well and truly in their sights. They’ve let their mates in the City off the hook with the biggest wimp out of a bank levy. Even the Financial Times says it’s “timid”.

Let’s recap. The banks squealed for years the minute anyone suggested tighter regulation. Then they went on a financial instruments selling rampage and, er, cocked it up. Then they did what comes naturally – they asked (well squealed) for more money. From us. And they got it. The economy went into freefall and who is paying for it? You and me.

Enter George Osborne, stage left, pledging to extract the “maximum” tax from the banks to help repay the deficit they helped to run up.

A whopping £2.5 billion, or 0.04 percent of the value of their assets.

George, you brute.

How are the banks reacting to this? Well once the slithering bunch have finished laughing and then sobered up after celebrating the fact that they’ve screwed the country again, they will no doubt congratulate themselves at hard they twisted the collective nether regions of the Tories and their Vichy coalition collaborators (for there is no other way to describe Clegg and his sellouts) to get the result they wanted. Their highly-paid lobbyists, not least the disgusting British Bankers’ Association, have done their work well. Pity they can’t work for a good cause, like humanity.

Shadow Chancellor Alan Johnson has rightly challenged Osborne’s fatuous assertion that the deficit did not have to be run up. Osborne has failed to explain what the alternative was. He has also lied to the electorate about Britain’s interest payments, claiming that £120 million is building schools and hospitals in foreign countries who hold UK debt. This is arrant nonsense. There is some cash flowing out of the country, but nowhere near the amount Osborne alleges. Still, he remains unchallenged because Britain seems obsessed with birching itself.

Of course Johnson has conveniently left out some inconvenient truths. Not least the role the Labour government played in the creation of a massive debt bubble and the failure to institute a savings culture. All so they could lay claim to an extended period of low interest rates.

Ok, this is the bit where you get to beat yourself  up. Borrowed against the house, didn’t you? Thought it was an investment instead of a place to come home to after a day working for the weirdo who tells you your work isn’t very good and you’re not hitting your “performance targets”, didn’t you? Thought you’d invest in a second property because property never goes down and your mate made 50 grand doing up a garden shed and selling it on after only three months, didn’t you? Maxed out on all the credit cards, didn’t you?

As Gordon Gekko says in the second Wall Street film to a group of students “You’re fucked.  You are the Ninja Generation. No income. No job. No assets.”

So take a bow Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and co…it’s your fault too.

Meanwhile, Goldman Sachs rubs everyone’s nose in it by setting aside £236,000 per employee in “compensation” for the first nine months of the year. That’s a pay and bonus pot of £8.3 billion.

Stop birching and start marching, Britain. Allez!


Dave denigrating the few is nothing new……

In Current affairs, Politics on August 5, 2010 at 9:42 pm

WHAT IS it about British leaders and the US that makes them prone to rewrite that bit of history the Irish like to refer to as “the emergency”? World War Two to you and me.

Posh Dave Cameron has been out talking to the great unwashed to prep them for the savage cuts to public services ahead (thanks again bankers).

But it seems everytime slick Dave opens his posh gob he just changes feet.

Today he reckoned Iran had a nuclear weapon. The day before he said Britain had been the junior partner in the fight against the nazis in 1940. Before that he pissed of the whole of Pakistan. That’s some going!

The latter point will rankle more than a few, but it’s an interesting insight into how the Brits view that period of history. On September 20, 2001 Tony Blair stood beside George Bush junior just days after the attacks on the World Trade Centre and said: “My father’s generation went through the experience of the second world war, when Britain was under attack, during the days of the Blitz.  And there was one nation and one people that, above all, stood side by side with us at that time.  And that nation was America, and those people were the American people.  And I say to you, we stand side by side with you now, without hesitation.”

Almost nine years later, after his “junior partner” gaffe irritated a voter, Dave Cameron said:

“There was no senior partner. We were on our own in 1940 … You are absolutely right and I was absolutely wrong.”

The PM said: “There were a few Polish pilots, there were a few French pilots, [but] on the whole it was Britain standing completely alone against Nazi Germany. It is the proudest moment of our history and we should be incredibly proud of the fact that we stood alone against Hitler.”

Without taking anything away from Britain’s magnificent refusal to bow to the little Austrian twit with a moustache, let’s face a few facts. The Americans didn’t want to touch the conflict with a barge pole, Churchill was delighted when Japan bombed Pearl Harbour in 1941 (note the date Dave et al), and a few former dominions – Australia, New Zealand, Canada, India and the West Indies to name a few – might have something to say about just how alone the UK was.

Blair was so keen to impress the Americans that it’s not worth correcting his moronic error, but we can’t let the new bloke off the hook so easily. For the record the RAF Roll of Honour for the Battle of Britain recognises 574 non-UK pilots from July 10 to October 31 1940, alongside 2,353 British pilots.

The foreign contingent included 145 Polish pilots, 127 from New Zealand, 112 from Canada and 88 from Czechoslovakia. There were “only” 13 Frenchmen, but in total, that’s more than Dave is making out, so he’s managed to insult a whole new demographic. Well done old chap!

Next time, leave the existing foot in your gob and save yourself a bit of time. Ok?

Gorgeous George wants a chat does he?

In Current affairs, Politics on June 8, 2010 at 11:39 pm

So, the last lot flushed 700 billion quid around the S bend and now Boy George Osborne wants to have a debate with us about where public spending should be cut to pay it off.


This is a well known tactic in the corporate world, a lot of my old work colleagues will recognise it. It’s diktat masquerading as consultation.

“Oh, but we discussed it with everyone,” you hear them bleat from the HR department (Known as Human Remains in some parts).

Subtext: “Then we ignored what they said and did what we always planned to do – shaft ’em.”

So when you write to Number 11 Downing Street and say: “Um, could we cut back on the money we pour into the pockets of arms manufacturers because they’ve been ripping us off for years with projects that always overrun and the military are morons when it comes to proper business decisions?” Or: “Can we string up the bankers by the short and curlies and make them devote their miserable life’s work to paying off the debt THEY created?” you’ll probably get a form letter/email like this:

“Dear concerned citizen,

thanks ever so much for your contribution to my big debate. We’ve received a spiffingly large amount of top ideas from you common folk. Unfortunately not all of them could make the final round, so, after an awfully long period of consideration, I’ve decided to do what Dave Cameron tells me to.

Sack all those lefty civil servants, and cut benefits for scroungers, I mean, find ways to get everyone back into jobs that don’t exist.

Yours in Chancellorship,


So, have your say by all means, I think it could fun. Perhaps we could come up with some ideas and publish them here. I do like the idea of stringing bankers up by the nethers. Perhaps we could ask the Camerons, Cleggs and Osbornes to pass the hat round at family Christmas time – they’ve got a bit of wedge between them. And now Nick has sold his principles he must have a few shekels stashed away.

Don’t annoy Iceland! Get ready for the ‘vog’ of war….

In Current affairs, Politics on April 15, 2010 at 6:18 am

Gee, those Icelanders are a prickly bunch. First they respond to the UK’s use of anti-terror laws during the financial crisis to freeze bank assets by refusing to pay the money back, then they resort to “environmental terrorism” by sending a cloud of volcanic ash this way! In Hawaii they have an active volcano and refer to the resultant eruption clouds as “vog”.

Still, it could be more interesting than the great mass debate tonight (yes, puerile joke, but we’re hardly going to be the only ones thinking it) which has the potential to cure insomnia nationally. Yes folks we could all be driven to bed by the phoney vog of war that will cloud our screens tonight.

Peter Mandelson said Gordon Brown is just going to have to be himself “for better or worse” in the first big showdown between the three leaders. You don’t have to be Einstein to know how Gordon being “himself” is going to play on national television. Those of us who have covered his speeches, or heard him speak off the cuff know he is going to struggle. Nick Clegg should be the most relaxed of the three, while a lot of us are wondering what colour David Cameron will be with all that slap on. We really hope he doesn’t resort to his Daily Mail-style manufactured hysteria and bang on about “Broken Britain” and how he’s going to hand out “people power” like a dirty old man with a bag of sweets. Power to do what exactly, Dave? Pay less for my petrol cos I don’t like the price?  Make the banks stump up for every penny they’ve cost the taxpayer? Allow public floggings of bankers and greedy MPs?

And imagine – there are going to be three of these bloody events. Are we really going to decide who runs the country on the basis of 270 minutes of primping and preening television programming?

Who will brush aside the bull, and make us believe?

In Politics on April 7, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Day one of the battle and we know one thing for sure – whatever it is that Britain needs after May 6 it has to be BIG.

Apparently the election is a choice between a BIG society and BIG government. So, in the Sesame Street spirit of education, today’s blog is brought to you by the letter “B” (hum the tune in your head – can’t risk the copyright infringement here).

B is for Brown, Gordon to be exact. Broody, Belligerent, Bad-tempered. Today he told us Britain needs a new constitution, and cleaner government if any new administration is to have a legitimate democratic mandate for change.

This means no outside lobbying jobs for MPs. Is it just me, or was the “expose” of Pat Hewitt, Stephen Byers and Geoff Hoon’s “cab for hire” activities a liiiiitttttle bit of a stitch up given it came not long after the attempt by Hoon and Hewitt (one Aussie export you’re welcome to keep) to unseat Gordon?

Apologies for the detour just then. Brown also wants to give 16 year-olds the vote, so no doubt there’ll soon be a Facebook page on that. Teaching them to read and write might be a better place to start.

Meanwhile, posh boy Dave Cameron keeps telling he needs to be elected so he can fix Broken Britain. We don’t quite know how he’s going to do that, apart from screwing poorly-paid civil servants. Oh and he wants to help married couples too, so that should make everything Better.

Of course, a lot of people who have suddenly found themselves on Benefit as a result of the recession might well ask what is going to be done to control the Bastards, known more generally as Bankers, who helped to Bugger-up the economy and seemed quite content to take a taxpayer Bailout to generate Billions and pay the Bosses massive, Bonuses. Is anyone going to have the Balls to curb this excessive behaviour?

As the campaign drags on, you could be forgiven for thinking that all these guys are talking…

Bollocks, something we’ll be hearing a lot of in the next few weeks, from politicians and from media “experts” telling us of conversations with “sources close” to whoever is in the frame on the day. All this will leave us neck-deep in Bullshit –  I think it was one of US TV chat show legend Johnny Carson’s joke writers who once penned: “It’s that time of year where the politicians are speaking what we’re all shovelling around our rose bushes.”

B is also for Bruising – we can’t wait for the gloves to come off and for the Big Boys to really start swinging those punches Below the Belt.

They say politics is a jungle full of Big Beasts. One of the biggest, Tony Blair,  has bared his fangs once already, and the Tories must have been Bricking it. We did ponder in a previous post whether he was just doing this as a favour to the Labour Party, given he’s no friend of Brown’s. You can draw your own conclusions, but he followed up a pretty good speech by, um,  going on safari in Africa – almost appropriate, don’t you think?

When all is said and done, one thing is guaranteed. We’ll all be Bitching about the government whoever gets in. However, you won’t be allowed to unless you get your Backside to the Ballot box on May 6 and have your say….

Hum along now. “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Down-ing Street…”